How Mod Podge, Acrylic Paint, and Glitter Helped Mend one Woman's Heart By Beth Engelman PLUS GIVEAWAY

Labor’s Lost Love

I called around 2 AM.  He was sleeping.

“I’m in labor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“How do you know?”

“Trust me.  I know.  I’ve even called the doctor.”

 “I’ll fly out this morning,” he said, before abruptly hanging up the phone. I was pretty sure he was on his way out the door.  Later, I would find out that his girlfriend was at the house too.

“This isn’t fair,” his girlfriend cried, running out in the street, wearing little except a long t-shirt and imitation Uggs.  He was making his way to the taxi. “I never asked for this kind of drama!” Her face was red and she was crying. “This is entirely not my…” He turned around, kissed her, and whispered something in her ear that made her smile. Then he got in the cab and drove off. 

Of course, I heard this story, months later from my neighbor Sally, who lived one floor below us and was the first one we told we were pregnant.  She was also our realtor and was in the process of helping us close on our new house, which makes it all the more confounding that he would think it was okay to move his girlfriend in three days after I walked out.

”Walked out” is a euphemism for 2 girlfriends coming over and packing up as much stuff as possible while Nick screamed that I had no right to read his American Express Bill and private emails on his Blackberry and I was under no uncertain terms to leave San Francisco.   I was 35 weeks pregnant and had very little patience for his tantrum, especially after he told me only a few days earlier that he wasn’t sure he could do the whole “birth thing.”  “Maybe you should find a new coach,” was I think, exactly what he had said.  Four bags, two Tylenol and three hours later, I was on my way to see my new coaches, my three sisters in Chicago.

That’s where I was two weeks later when I went into labor.  The pain started around 1:30 AM and by the time Casey and Jennifer arrived the pain was pretty intense.  By then, the sun was on the verge of rising and Stephanie had already finished packing my hospital bags and making sure the car seat was ready.  We were laying on the couch eating Crispy Crème donuts, Starbucks scones and non-fat lattes from Caribou.  Never mind the fact that it was Yom Kippur, I was in labor and we were going to eat!  I remember the scene so vividly.  I was wearing my GAP maternity wraparound sweater, a pair of grey Mama over Miami sweatpants and a superhero cape that was presented to me earlier that morning by my sisters.   It’s not exactly the cute little pregnant gal image I had imagined for myself ~ you know the one where I am an adorable 9 months pregnant mama, wearing tight jeans and a T-shirt that says “Baby on Board”, sporting this season’s best accessory, a faithful husband.

A few hours later, Nick arrived.

 “How’s the laborer.”  Nick asked.  Looking tanned and well rested

“Ha.”  My heart was in my stomach.

 “How’s Jr?”

“Fuuuudge! (or something like that)”

“The contractions are getting closer together.” Steph called out to Jen.

“Maybe you should lay down,” Nick looked worried about me.  It must have been a new feeling for him because he suddenly got very pale and sweaty.

“Ahhh! Man o man! This sucks!”

“Casey, Get the bags.  We need to get her to the hospital.”

“We?” asked Nick. “Shouldn’t Beth’s husband take her to the hospital?”

“You can come.” Said Stephanie.

“No, Steph, you can come. I am the baby’s dad so I think I deserve to have more say than you…”

“OOOhhhh.”

 “I’m driving my wife. You guys need to go in another car.”

“Fine,” said Casey.  “It probably makes sense that we each take our own cars anyway.  I’ll lead. Nick, you take Beth and then Jen and Stephanie follow behind them.”

By the time we got to the hospital it was 4 pm and I was begging for an epidural and some Valium.  The Valium was for Nick who was driving me crazy.  Why couldn’t we talk about something normal like names or nursery colors?  He just kept going on and on about sorry he was for what he had done which according to him was nothing more than an innocent flirtation that got misconstrued and by the way I really shouldn’t have read his email and why in the hell was I wearing a superhero cape, it really wasn’t age appropriate and made me look like a homeless person. 

In the end, I did let Nick act as a “coach” in the delivery room.  He almost fainted a few times during the process and then asked the nurse to get him some water during the most inopportune time, but I was glad our son had the opportunity to have his father there when he took his first breath.  And in the end, I did forgive Nick. Not enough to get back together with him. I wasn’t a fool.  But I forgave him enough to let go and move on.  It must have been the cape.

4 years later, I have never been happier and I feel in many ways I have Mod Podge, acrylic paint and glitter to thank (not to mention, Nick has turned out to be a very good and doting dad).  I didn’t realize until after my marriage ended how much I missed just having time for myself to do things that interested me like “mod podging” decorative signs for my son’s bedroom, building a garden in my postage stamp sized yard, or creating building blocks with pictures, words and scrap paper.  Of course, there are many married folks who find time to craft, but for me, I found that I either spent time at work, or spent time with my husband and never found that middle ground to make time for myself. 

For me, crafting has become my form of meditation.  It gives me a total break from thinking about anything else other than, “did I add too much glitter?” or “did a crop this picture lop-sided?”  It also provides a calming effect as hunker down and lose myself in my projects.  Sometimes I listen to music, or NPR or my favorite podcast, but it’s the crafting; the creating, molding, shaping, and making that really captivate me.  Now, that my son is four-years-old, he crafts too, as likens himself to being an expert when it comes to pouring glue all over everything and anything! 

My “Mommyonashoestring.com” partner, Jenna Riggs, with whom I have also created several children’s books, is also my crafting inspiration as she has introduced me to functional crafts that include crafting with repurposed items such as jigsaw puzzle pieces transformed into  “piece, love and happiness” stationary or flower broaches made for from tea light holders, buttons and old keys.  Through these projects I have learned to revel in the possibilities of change.  Which might be one of the greatest lessons of all!

GIVEAWAY:  In honor and  dedication to spreading the Craft for Health message, Jenna Riggs and I are going to give away a copy of our Superhero Detectives book and a “super mom” cape (created by Jenna).

Simply POST your COMMENTS here and will pick a winner out of the hat. GOOD LUCK!  Giveaway Ends April 5th. 2010

Comments

[L Neiman]

What an incredible story of triumph and strength. What an impressive woman.

[Jenna Riggs]

You rock my dear! Jackson is so lucky to have you for his Mom.

[scooter hathorn]

I laughed, I cried. I'm so glad it has a happy ending. The connection, commitment and dedication of the "sisters" (who I happen to know are both sisters and sister-in-laws) is so wonderful and enviable. Their relationship is a tribute to the up-bringing of the original siblings, and their choices in spouses,(with maybe the exception of Beth) but, most of all, a tribute to their mother, a remarkable "crafter" herself....she would be so proud.

[debra warren]

Beth, I have always admired your strength and positive attitude. You are wonderful friend and an amazing mommy. I am always proud of all your accomplishment!

[Debbie G.]

I love this story and I love how you manage to find a real therapeutic positive in what could be considered by many a negative.

I wish I made the time to craft. I totally understand the "getting lost" in the project.

Good for you Beth! I admire your strength, positive energy, you fabulous sisters, and of course your super hero cape!!! Every woman needs one of those.

You are an awesome mom and your son is so lucky to have you!

[Lynn]

This needs to be a book!!! What a story - hard to believe that it could be true!! You are in such a good place - better than ever!!

Love Lynn

[Jenny Vollen-Katz]

It reads like something Nora Ephron would write -- impossible that it could happen to a wonderful woman I know and love. And now look where you are, happy, beautiful, able to explore your full potential and pursue all of you amazing creative talents -- and best of all to do it all with your wonderful son. I look forward to future "chapters" of your story, Beth, which I know will be filled with happiness, laughter, love and if I know you, maybe just a teensy weensy bit of insanity (through no fault of your own)!!!

[Beth Seabreeze]

wow Beth! Thanks for posting all this!! Crafting is a great way to express yourself creatively and I'm impressed with your perspective to see the positive in a not-at-all positive situation!

[Jane]

Beth, your story shows you are a great person, great writer and a great crafter! You are a superhero without the cape and a great role model for your son.

[Liz]

Thanks for being so open and for sharing your story...

When reading "Crafting has become my form of meditation" it made me think about all the ways I can have "me-time" and relax and not be limited to traditional forms of meditation to get to that space.

Thank you.

Very inspirational!

[cynthia]

What a wonderful ending to such a horrible situation! It is stories like yours that need to be shared! Thank you for sharing yours!

[Stacey Kannenberg]

Your sisters were right on! You were in need of that Super Hero Cape because only a true Super Hero could soar in the face of so much drama to glue, mend and craft your heart back together filling it with joy and happiness! Standing ovation to YOU!

[Blythe Lipman]

I love Happy Endings!! And you are truly a Super-Hero! Please post a pic with you in your well-deserved cape!!
Changes are good but sometimes really tough!! Revel in your strength and know that your story gives women the power to know things can change for the better!!
By the way...my escape to bring me back to reality is baking..I turn on my music, break the eggs, and dance to my own drummer while whipping up my creations!!
Thanks for sharing...Keep Smiling!

[Mollie]

Super-Hero indeed! Also: super mama,super sister,super auntie, super daughter,super friend(super Woodstock to my Snoopy),super smile,super giggle,super inspiration,super love!

[Stephanie]

Super Hero doesn't even begin to cover you, my Dear Bethie. Your most thoughtful and creative writing brings tears to my eyes, no kidding. You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtful ideas, craft-wise and more! Your cutest "pilot" son is soooo lucky to have you as a mommy! He will learn from the best, and become his own superhero in time...as evidenced by how super he is already! Keep crafting, keep writing, and keep doing what you do best: making people smile, everyday. I love you! xoxoxoxo

[Laurie]

What an inspiration you are my dear! Your courage and grace are such a big part in helping me get through my own drama. You choose to craft a great man out of Jackson by showing him how to treat others (even those who are so selfish and hurtful).

Thank you for sharing yourself. You are providing a great example of how to manage a situation none of us could imagine, much less cope with.

BTW - you are more than welcome to come potter with me in my WAY too large gardens whenever you like! The kiddos can run with the dogs while we lose ourselves in exactly which branch to trim or how far to cut back the dead blooms. Gardening and Cooking are my meditations.

Love you, amazing lady!

LM

[louise@SigningFamilies.com]

WOW- I am speechless! I am so glad that life was full of sunshine for you after the birth of your son.

I love your Mommy On a Shoestring show! Jenna and you are an amazing team of hosts.